He's eating.
It's here.
It's free, come in and eat as much as you can.
Not free! What do you mean...
Action!
The hottest issue in town is
"Averse to food" infecting everyone,
but it's been cured by a so-called "Pissing Beef Balls".
It's been selling hot within a short time.
The inventor of this "Pissing Beef Balls"
is the man of legend...
Stephen Chow,
the former "God of Cookery".
Stephen Chow,
why are your "Pissing Beef Balls" so popular?
I think... it's unfair to ask me this way.
You'd better ask the customers why they rush to eat it.
Little boy, why do you like eating "Pissing Beef Balls"?
Since eating "Pissing Beef Balls", I find myself much cleverer,
I've gotten full marks in each examination.
Is it really so helpful?
I've become prettier and prettier after eating it...
I've grown up a lot since eating it,
I've got back my confidence.
Are you going to get back your fame since you make a success here?
Get back my fame?
Could you tell us the secret of success of your "Pissing Beef Balls"?
It's simple, delicious, new and interesting.
Interesting? How come?
You're playing Ping-Pong with it?
This stuff deserves to be tried.
It's tasty and interesting, I can't help buying one for myself.
How come...
he made a fame with such trivial stuff?
Don't worry, it just a trivial stuff.
He can't be a real success with them.
I just fear he'll come back for us after he's made his fame.
Everyone in Hong Kong knows
beef balls that you can play Ping-Pong with.
Will I really piss after eating them?
You'll surely have diarrhea after eating it...
Isn't it miracle?
Great!
It's a miracle, though you've had such a good start,
it's a bit risky to pledge all your properties,
I find it risky to open 20 branches at the same time.
You find it risky?
What if we first open 2 branches?
Mr. Chow, since you've made a first success,
you needn't bet all your money in the next step.
Don't bullshit! You know nothing about it!
I don't need you teach me running business.
Mr. Chow, but with your past record...
it's hard for our bank
to lend you a lump sum.
I guess you have no confidence in our beef balls.
In fact, I've never tried them.
I seldom eat this kind of snack.
Please try some.
Try some!
You really lent him the money?
Thanks!
I'm just doing what you asked me to.
I know what he has in mind,
he wants to open branches.
All his branches will be
in remote places.
He has one in urban area, but it's a basement branch.
Hey, do you know feng shui?
You know this word?
Die!
See, he'll get inside an impasse!
Lend him whatever he wants, let him dig his own grave!
What? Please repeat!
They've made use of the money to manufacture cans.
Manufacture cans?
Right.
They'll be sold in all 2,800 supermarkets and convenient stores.
I've input all the shops location into the computer.
Sure win!
I can't predict what he's doing.
Of course, I will surely win!
Excuse me...
Excuse me...please...
Stephen Chow...What is your feeling...
of your being elected the Genius of Food and Beverage?
I find it like a dream...
it also proves Hong Kong is a place for miracles
If you work hard, all dreams may come true.
Ass-hole!
Where've you been? You haven't contact me for a long time.
I thought you were dead.
I'm really dead! But you must be convinced!
Why must I be convinced?
You never expected me reborn again?
I'm convinced!
I nearly forget to congratulate on you.
Our shops always get rewards,
but it's rare for your lousy friends to get such a reward.
What did you say?
It's a wonderful world, you must be really convinced.
Why must I be convinced?
If I hadn't got this award,
I wouldn't be eligible for Competition of "God of Cookery" next month.
I'm really convinced for this.
Smart!
I don't mean to show others I'm capable.
I just want to tell others that
I can get back what I have lost.
Let me say the truth,
Mr. Chow, you're really capable
but you must try to learn some practical cooking.
Chinese Cookery Academy?
I'll apply in tomorrow morning.
Good! I'm glad to hear that.
I don't care how wicked,
sly you were in the past,
if you improve yourself, we'll surely give you another chance,
Please don't beat me...
I'm always an honest man, I never lie,
I say all this to wish you well.
My only mistake in my life is underestimating you...
Oh...Mr. Chow...
Look at him...
how naive and lovely he is!
Very vivid too!
You're smart at pissing and dumping...
I didn't know you're smart at eating shit too!
Stop beating!...
Don't move!...
I must kill this bastard! I want him to die!
Okay! Let's kill him!
Don't move!...
It's fixed, it's over.
What do you mean be "fixed"?
Something is happening, let me go and find him!
You'd better save that.
You know nothing but fighting, did I ask you to fight?
You must watch my ideas! It's not Temple Street here.
You never improve.
What are you looking? Want to beat me too?
Never mind her!
Brothers...
We've been staying in Temple Street for 20 years.
Now we're going to set into big business and go outside.
Wish our "Pissing Beef Balls" more success!
Cheers! Cheers!
Let me congratulate you on... studying cooking in China tomorrow,
...so that you can get back your title of "God of Cookery".
None of your business!
I was only joking.
Everybody, it's our last night in this street.
Look carefully,
we'll rush out of Temple Street tomorrow and challenge the world!
Sister Turkey says she won't leave.
What does she think?
Sister Turkey said she will not leave her homeland.
Good! She's got to be a good wife.
I know you've loved her for a long time.
Love you bastard!
Sister Turkey used to be pretty.
So he did really love her.
Turkey was very pretty 3 years ago,
but she had her face spoiled in a quarrel.
Why did she have a quarrel?
No one ever told me, I just don't know.
I know the incident, I was the only witness.
Uncle Kwan's men came to have supper that night.
He tore apart Turkey's "flag".
Tore apart her "flag"?
Who tore my "flag"?
You ass-hole tore my flag to clean your running nose?
Damn it! We provide toilet paper here.
Have you asked me?
What did you say?
I like using this to clean my nose.
What can you do to me?
You know who I am? Dare you talk to me like this?
Stop tearing her flag, just ruin her place, now!
Act! Got it!
Dare you fight back?
The chop he gave her was from hers forehead to nostrils
Here, right at the entrance of her stall,
he stabbed into her spine...
...and that injured her nerve system,
so she has outpost teeth.
She has to endure her ruined face for the rest of her life now.
That "flag" incident really hurt her.
What "flag"?
It's your "flag".
My "flag"?
The "flag" of "God of Cookery".
Your posters are really everywhere.
Especially the one in which you're holding a small kid.
She says you're full of paternal love.
She's your number one crazy fan.
"God of Cookery"!
I must congratulate you then.
- Fat Snow! - What do you mean, Fat Snow?
I'm talking to you. I've asked you not to tell others.
In fact, she asked me to tell you if such a chance arose.
Well, you've told him already, it's nothing to be shameful of.
It gets on my nerves!
You'll go back alone to China tomorrow?
No one accompanies you? Let me go with you then.
Taxi!
Where are you?
Where? I'm in China.
You needn't rush away,
Turkey is so kind to you.
Don't bullshit, I can't find Chinese Cookery Academy now.
No, I've asked people about it.
Right...I find everything here, toilets, temples...
...but just no Chinese Cookery Academy.
No way,
Maddy's sister's mother's brother's son says there is.
Why don't you come back first?
Come back? Don't you know I am on the run?
Don't worried, Turkey is not here right now.
She's disappeared since you went away.
Where did she go?
I catch you at last!
Good! Catch you now!
You let me catch you at last...
What happens? What happens?
I've bought you much daily sundries.
You left so hurriedly, I couldn't give them to you last time,
so I come all the way for you.
Don't waste all this stuff.
Thanks.
Hey, please do me a favor.
Draw a heart here, with an arrow passing through it.
Stop fooling around.
Just a souvenir, come on.
Turkey, let me tell you.
I am sorry that this happened to you.
I am really touching...
But I don't want that, you know?
Sure, of course I know.
Come on, draw it for me, come on.
No problem, drawing a heart is nothing special.
We're buddies, let's make things clear first.
I've come all the way here
just to ask you draw me a heart,
and you're losing your temper for that?
Even if you forget I've done so much for you,
you must remember I covered for you and got injured.
I didn't ask you to do all this for me.
I didn't ask you to get injured for me either.
What's that got to do with me?
According to your theory, if everyone comes to get injured for me...
then I'll be running into great trouble.
Many things are destined and planned by heavens.
It's useless even if you are injured 20 more times,
you know?
Do you understand?
Hey, do you understand?
Okay.
How come?
What?
It's a rare astronomical phenomenon: Nine stars joining into one.
When this happens, something strange always happening.
Don't worry, he'll disappear forever.
The 28th Competition of "God of Cookery"
will start in one minute.
Let's have the honor of our judge...
Chairperson of international Gourmet Society, the 'Princess of Taste'...
Miss Nancy Sit
Half minute to starting.
According to the rules,
all late comers will be disqualified.
No excuse is allowed.
All participants, please get into your position.
I've checked, no one is coming,
the match will start soon.
Bastard, what a surprise.
Isn't he...
Madam, please go faster.
This is the fastest I can.
No way out.
Just arrive on time.
You?
Amida Buddha.
Who are you?
Dean of Shaolin Monastery, my name is "Wet Dream".
Amida Buddha.
I come and leave with the wind.
Hey, I'm a good friend of Stephen Chow, please respect me.
I beg you...please.
Security, throw this guy out.
Please close the gate
and prevent anyone with wet dreams coming in.
Okay, the last participant has arrived.
The match start now.
I won't move before my enemies take action.
I would like to know, why Stephen Chow looks like this.
Why does he dress in ancient clothing? Why does all his hair become white?
Is there a wire
so that he can fly over water?
Sir, He's now an understudy of Shaolin Monastery.
Shaolin Monastery.
Amida Buddha.
I can only tell you, He's linked with Buddha.
Based on sympathy, I received him as a understudy.
Don't move!
You have been wounded by poisonous throne.
Luckily the poison hasn't reached your brain.
Otherwise you'd die at once.
I've sucked out 80% of the poison already.
Let me suck the remaining,
please.
Leave me alone!
I won't force you since you refuse.
You'll be in trouble, Dean is very narrow-minded.
I hate people talking about me behind my back.
Out!
Me out?
We're choosing the "God of Cookery", not a clown in a circus.
Besides being a master in cooking,
God of cookery must be smart.
You want to be "God of Cookery"?...
No way!
Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery?
Right! Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!
You've enraged the Dean, you want to escape? No way!
Out!
Why?
Look at you, has your father just died?
Go home and face the mirror, out!
What are you looking at?
Out!
Why?
Being "God of Cookery", one must have concentration.
All of you keep standing here
when I merely move, shit!
You make me disappointed, out!
If you keep faulting them out, there'll be no one left.
I know it!
Since the beginning of the match,
I've found two guys keeping calm,
They are the only two qualified participants.
Why did you kill people?
You taught me that.
As I like it.
Please reform and believe in Buddha.
Well, I'm making the dish "Buddha Jumping Wall".
What a coincidence! I'm making "Buddha Jumping Wall" too.
Don't think...
you'll be a sure win by dressing in ancient costume.
I can do that too! Want to become "God of Cookery"? Till after you die.
Super-style cutting!
Supreme-style chopping!
Good Chopping!
So fast!
Eighteen-style frying!
Dog-beating sautéing!
Good frying!
Objection! He is copying me!
Did he?
He does exactly what I'm doing!
Does he?
Look! You see now?
But this is a competition.
It's like racing and swimming,
everyone is doing the same thing.
There's nothing to object.
Overruled!
Thanks!
Bastard!
See you how to receive this chopper?
Uncle...
Nothing serious... it's only the back of the chopper...
The back of the chopper? Right.
You've really visited Chinese Cookery Academy?
Stop pretending.
The Chinese Cookery Academy is the kitchen of Shaolin Monastery.
You're also a dropout of Shaolin Monastery!
Impossible!
I have studied for ten years,
but you have studied for only one month, you can't be so smart!
It's depended on talent.
Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!
Damned fool!
OK, the small "Ten".
One "Ten", right? Pass.
Pass? I know you will pass me.
- "Queen" - "Queen"?
Man, when can I leave this place?
"Two", only after the Dean says it's okay.
When will Dean say that, Man?
Look...
That old bag enraged Dean when he was 13,
and he's been detained here until now.
What does that mean?
You pass "Five of a Kind"? Pass.
What does that mean? You lost double this time.
Unreasonable.
Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!
Besides I learnt cooking skills in the kitchen of Shaolin Monastery,
I also learnt supreme Kung Fu from the eighteen Brassmen.
These eighteen Brassmen are really great.
I don't believe that!
Good "Flying Skills"!
The secret of "Flying Skills"
it can make a man as heavy as a seal...
fly up high in the sky, and make ghosts cry.
Good folding chair!
The secret of "Folding Chair"
it's hidden in common household.
We can sit on them and also turn them into weapons.
Even the police can't charge you for them.
It's ranked top in the seven weapons.
Just beat two more strokes, only 3 minutes left, watch out for time.
Don't shout!
It's bad!
It's bad? How bad?
We do not allow "Buddha Jumping Wall" to explode.
You should have been disqualified.
...but I consider that you are quite creative.
Two minutes left, make another one.
Only two minutes, you can only make sasumi,
give up man!
Good "Internal Skills"!
He uses "Internal Skills" to raise the temperature.
So the "Buddha Jumping Wall", which originally takes 49 hours to cook,
...can now be made in 2 minutes.
May I ask what is the most tasty thing you've even eaten in your life?
You should ask this question to yourself.
Ask myself?
Right.
Who are you talking to?
This is supersonic chatting.
This is...
"Kouyum Skill"? Wrong!
This is "Sorrowful Hand".
"Sorrowful Hand"?
This is a style created by him.
One day, I saw him...
...singing sorrowfully.
Righteous and honesty is valuable.
I dare to go to fight.
I'm willing to sacrifice for buddies.
I'm willing to die for girls...
His hair turned white overnight.
His love is so deep.
What is love? Why is forever?
Finding that he is addicted to love, I forgave him.
I never knew you're such a romantic man.
Lost skill of Shaolin Monastery: "Fire Fist"!
Time's up! The match is over!
It smells good!
Right!
Yeah, This is...
Super Seaview "Buddha Jumping Wall"!
Good! Good! Good!...
This "Buddha Jumping Wall", prepared by "Internal Skills"...
is so well prepared, not thick nor thin, and not so unctuous.
The nine ingredients make up a total of 81 varieties.
The flavors stack up one layer by one layer.
It deserves to be called: "Super Seaview Buddha Jumping Wall"!
And this is...
"Sorrowful Rice".
What's wrong with you? This is just ordinary BBQ Pork Rice.
With just one extra egg on it,
costs only $22 at most.
Why you call it "Sorrowful Rice"?
Don't pretend being smart!
Bullshit! I dare say...
no one dare say "Smart" in front of me.
Will you please keep quiet!
BBQ Pork, good BBQ Pork!
I've never eaten such good BBQ Pork!
Help...
The gravy is kept inside the meat fibre.
It's so tender and juicy.
They're so soft and bouncy to eat.
With the extra egg made by "Fire Fist",
the taste of BBQ Pork is unbelievable.
Why? Why? Why?...
Why do you let me eat such good bowl of BBQ Pork Rice?
What shall I do if you don't cook it for me in the future?
What is it?
Why do tears burst from my eyes?
I have a sorrowful feeling.
It's the onion. I've added onion inside.
Oh! It hits the topic!
So there's onion!
This bowl of rice is really touching.
No wonder it's called "Sorrowful Rice".
It's really so sorrowful!
It's too touching!
Wonderful!
However...
If my husband were not so horny
and caught in a trap...
If I were not greedy and caught while I was cheating.
The worst is...
Greet the Boss. Boss.
Even my good son has been kicked and joined the Triad now.
These guys are really holding me by the balls, I...
The "God of Cookery" is...
Bull Tong!
Bull Tong is finally "God of Cookery"!
You've wasted your breath, you still have to choose me.
There's no "God of Cookery".
What? What did you say?
Maybe everyone is "God of Cookery" What do you mean?
Don't bullshit, present the prize.
Even parents, brothers, sisters and lovers, as long as they have heart
What do you mean?
Everyone can become "God of Cookery".
He has gone mad because he lost, call for an ambulance.
"God of Cookery", get back to your position.
"God of Cookery", you used to be a fairy in mastering cooking skills,
but you broken heaven's rules,
so you were punished by being forced to descend to Earth.
Today, you finally know the truth of cooking.
You've shown your love in the rice you cooked.
Even the King of Heaven is impressed.
But you revealed Heaven's secret, you should be punished.
I spare you now as you did so out of deep love.
Stephen, you've invested a lot!
You even hired a fake fairy.
Good! I'll see what you can do with fairy.
Ask the fairy to help you...
You black mouth dog, you aren't keeping guard at the door.
I must restore your original appearance.
You want to try too?
No!...none of my business, I'm only passing by!
I don't know anyone in here.
I don't know the guys who were shooting!
Bullshit! You're worse than a dog!
Uncle really becomes a dog!
Ridiculous! Nothing happen to me!
This is only illusion!
You never scare me!
Everything is possible, is it Christmas now?
Sir, you're born with fairy bones, your eyes show holy light.
You're a fairy descended on Earth, I've found you at last!
How come there are so many fairies?
Yes!
Fairies are everywhere in the street.
Even Santa Claus is a fairy.
Don't bullshit!
Wait, I can tell you about your marriage,
show me your palm.
Your marriage is soon coming, soon...
Is it really true? No way?
It's true, it's she who asked us to not show up for the match.
As she was concerned you would lose concentration.
Yes.
No way!
Really, she resisted the bullet with her gold teeth.
She survives, and the doctor gave her new teeth,
and even plastic surgery, she's become pretty now.
No way!
It's true!
Look, here she comes.
Is it Pretty?
Just say something, is she pretty?
I shouldn't say anything now.
Give it back to you!